Shop - SHAME NATION : The Global Epidemic of Online Hate

In 2003 Sue Scheff was cyberattacked by a spiteful client.

The attack almost ruined Scheff’s business and nearly destroyed her self-confidence, but she chose to fight back and won a landmark lawsuit

Now she works to help people prevent and recover from cyberattacks.

Online shame comes in many forms, and it’s surprising how much of an effect a simple tweet might have on your business, love life, or school peers.

A rogue tweet might bring down a CEO; an army of trolls can run an individual off-line; and virtual harassment might cause real psychological damage.

From damning screenshots to revenge porn, Shame Nation shines a light on the rising trend of online shame culture and empowers readers to take charge of their digital lives.

In Shame Nation, parent advocate and internet safety expert Sue Scheff presents an eye-opening examination around the rise in online shaming, and offers practical advice and tips including:

• Preventing digital disasters
• Defending your online reputation
• Building digital resilience
• Reclaiming online civility

Author and acclaimed Internet safety expert Sue Scheff unveils all sides of an issue that is only becoming more relevant day by day while drawing from the expertise of other top professionals spanning fields including law, psychology, and reputation management.

Best-selling author and parenting advocate Sue Scheff was once a victim of adult cyberbullying and knows all too well of the havoc online harassment can cause.

Since then, she has become a dedicated cybersafety activist who is committed to helping others recognize, prevent and respond to cyber-shaming.

The fact is, a day doesn’t go by without witnessing examples of hateful speech, public shaming, and online bullying.

Get informed and be prepared. This book is filled with practical advice and real-world examples, as well as powerful tools and strategies, to ensure that you thrive—and don’t become a victim.

Armed with the right knowledge and skills, everyone can play a positive part in the prevention and protection against online cruelty, and become more courageous and empathetic in their communities.

There are tons of real stories from people who’ve been bullied and shamed online to illustrate Scheff’s points.

And while these stories (and the thousands more that happen every day) and sad and terrible, Scheff does end the book on a hopeful note that this current tsunami of online hate will inspire a backlash of love and hope.

“Scheff’s book is smart, timely and essential. In fact, Shame Nation is the era’s must-read to renew Internet civility where humiliating, criticizing and judging are normalized.”

Definitely eye-opening and worth reading.

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Review From PsychologyToday.com :

The Global Epidemic of Online Hate: This Is Us?

Survey: Majority of Americans have experienced incivility and blame social media

October is National Cyberbullying Prevention and Awareness Month.

In a 2017 survey, Civility in America conducted by Weber Shandwick and Powell Tate with KRC Research, revealed there is a severe civility deficit in our country.

69% of Americans blame the internet and social media as the cause – not surprising given that one in four have experienced cyberbullying or incivility online.

Online hate is global.

In a recent 2017 study from Norton, Australia’s online harassment is getting worse too.

Seventy percent of Australians have experienced unwanted conflict, character assassinations, sexual harassment or threats of physical violence online.

That’s a 20 percent increase from 2016.

What are Americans saying?

“Social media is full of uncivil acts. Trying to remember what the most recent would be is difficult as it’s in my feed pretty much all the time.”

“In commenting on a social media question, I got blasted for not going along with everyone else.”

“Usually social media is full of uncivil people. Sometimes you can’t even comment on a status without someone trying to argue and prove points about something you don’t care about.”

How will we turn our shame nation to a civil nation?

Let’s begin by taking the “civility challenge.” We should take that challenge on.

As Americans, we collectively recognize we have a civility problem, even a crisis, on our hands.

Yet, while we agree on what civility means, we don’t see ourselves or even the people close to us as part of the problem.

Each of us should take a closer look at our actions on a daily basis and evaluate if our own behavior may be having a deleterious impact on others.

Refrain from posting or sharing uncivil material online.

While this is intuitive and perhaps simplistic, half of all incivility is encountered in search engines and on social media.

What may seem civil to the poster/sharer, may be considered very uncivil to others.

Through sharing and liking, our content often gets seen by people who aren’t our direct social media contacts.

If we want to set an example of civility, we need to be thoughtful about the implications of not just our real-life actions but our online actions as well.

Digital wisdom helps you make better digital choices.

From pausing before you post to being mindful with what you share, it’s time we all become upstanding digital citizens.

Our failure to instill empathy online has created a culture of cruel.

With greater empathy and compassion, it should be impossible to leave cruel comments. To get started, let’s adapt Dr. Michele Borba’s four-step method, which she calls CARE, toward how we approach posting online.

C = Call Attention to Uncaring. Did you notice that there was an ugly comment on someone’s post? Was it about you? Talk about it.

A = Assess How Uncaring Affects Others. Was your teen a victim of a cruel comment, or were you? Discuss howthis made you feel.

R = Repair the Hurt and Require Reparation. Did you or your teen write a comment that hurt someone (even if you didn’t mean to)? Immediately delete that comment, apologize, and contact the person personally.

E = Express Disappointment and Stress Caring Expectations.

We’re all human, and we’re going to make mistakes. It’s what we learn from them that matters. Be a caring and kind role model at all ages.

Hate perpetuates hate.

Seventy-five percent of Americans, according to the Civility in America survey,  believe that civility begins with us. Sixty-six percent of Americans have asked their friends to be kinder to each other.

It’s important to remember that just because someone is an adult or has an important position doesn’t mean they are always the best role model.

Be careful not to perpetuate the hate with more anger and verbal violence (online or off). If you endorse digital discourse or forward mean memes, you are only continuing this rise of incivility. Don’t get caught up in the cyber-combat.

It could be a simple LIKE on a post, but that click is also your endorsement. Be careful not to be part of a campaign of hate. Sometimes our fingers are faster than our brains are processing.

Shame Nation: The Global Epidemic of Online Hate (Sourcebooks) offers many insights and resources on curbing incivility in the cyber-world as well as surviving, preventing and overcoming digital disasters.

With a brilliant foreword by anti-bullying activist, Monica Lewinsky, she reminds us,

“There is painfully a sad lack of empathy and compassion in our cyberworld. People rush to make rude and (sometimes) violent commentary they would never utter in a face-to-face situation. They live in the Internet ether forever, easily accessed by potential employers, potential relationships, and anyone in the mood to do a Google search.”

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Review From The Star Online :

‘Shame Nation’ claims it can teach you how to protect yourself from online trolls, bullies and criminals.

Malaysians are no strangers to online shaming. Just recently, a video of a woman threatening a council officer went viral on social media.

Did you leave a comment expressing your displeasure? Did you share it with your friends on Facebook?

Sharing these things may seem justifiable, especially when the subject of the video was behaving badly, but Shame Nation will make you think twice about participating in these online witch hunts.

As the book’s first section demonstrates over and over again, these videos, tweets or posts only capture a fraction of what really happened.

Haven’t we said something thoughtless in real life?

Or accidentally made a distasteful joke?

Yet, thanks to the shocking permanency of digital technology, lives are ruined because of a single careless moment.

Worse, bullies have exploited these technologies to maximum advantage, leading some of their victims to not just lose jobs but their lives as well.

I was drawn to Shame Nation because I read another book that explored the same issue: So You’ve Been Publicly Shamed by Jon Ronson (2015).

As a result, I perhaps unfairly compared Shame Nation with Ronson’s book, expecting the authors to explore why online hate has proliferated.

Although Shame Nation dutifully lists the numerous cases of online harassment and shaming just as Ronson does, unlike Ronson who interviewed people involved in the cases, the stories in Shame Nation seem to have been summarised from newspaper reports, leaving readers with a shallower impression. (Annoy-ingly, each case ends with a brief “moral of the story” bit of advice.)

As horrifyingly fascinating as these cases are, this becomes repetitive and tedious after a while.

After reading this section, you might be tempted to cut all social media links, but the authors recommend a different approach.

Because, not only do we need social media to live and work, stopping your online interactions doesn’t protect you from a criminal who could hijack your identity and pretend to be you online (this is what happened to Ronson).

The real meat and potatoes of this book lie in the sections after the compendium of cases. Here, the authors recommend how you should behave online to protect yourself from trolls and bullies.

It is vital in this day and age to protect one’s reputation online, to “brand” yourself correctly.

Nothing is private online, absolutely nothing, say the authors. So they recommend strategies that can help you give the world a good impression.

And that definitely does not include you complaining about your boss on Facebook!

Some strategies are surprising (and rather alarming), such as taping over the camera port on your laptop or iPad, as hackers are known to use the device to snap photos of you unknowingly. Others are practical, even fun, such as writing blog posts about your hobbies.

There’s also a section that offers to help those who have been shamed online to salvage their reputations.

However, after reading through the recommendations (which sometimes involve engaging expensive “reputation repair” companies) here, it would seem that prevention is indeed better than cure.

As the authors say again and again, once a tweet, video or photo gets out on the World Wide Web, almost nothing can make it disappear.

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About the Author

SUE SCHEFF is a nationally recognized speaker, parent advocate, and Internet safety expert. She has been featured on TV shows including Good Morning America and Anderson Cooper 360 and has written for USA Today, Wall Street Journal, Forbes, and more