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(Prelove Wrapped) STAYING CONNECTED TO YOUR TEENAGER : How To Keep Them Talking To You And How To Hear What They’re Really SayingMichael Riera
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Explore How To Stay Close With Your Teenagers And Navigate Their Important Phase.
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The teenage years are really important, as important as any other ‘childhood’ age and stage. And just like any other age and stage they can be exciting, challenging and a lot of fun.
How can families keep their connections strong when adolescence transforms even the happiest kids into defiant, independent teenagers?
At last, a book of sage advice that will help frustrated parents reconnect with their teenager and keep that connection even in today’s often-crazy world.
The first step is simple: realizing that inside every teen resides two very different people-the regressed child and the emergent adult. The emergent adult is seen at school, on the playing field, in his first job, and in front of his friends’ families. Unfortunately, his parents usually see only the regressed child-moody and defiant-and, if they’re not on the lookout, they’ll miss seeing the more agreeable, increasingly adult thinker in their midst.
With ingenious strategies for coaxing the more attractive of the two teen personalities into the home, family psychologist Mike Riera gives new hope to beleaguered and harried parents. From moving from a “managing” to a “consulting” role in a teen’s life, from working with a teen’s uniquely exasperating sleep rhythms to having real conversations when only monosyllables have been previously possible, Staying Connected to Your Teenager demonstrates ways to bring out the best in a teen-and, consequently, in an entire family.
Staying Connected To Your Teenager Means…..
● NIGHT TIME IS THE RIGHT TIME : Your teenager has different sleep rhythms than you, which leaves him most awake a little vulnerable late at night. Though a true give-and-take conversation might not be in order, your teen is likely to open up and just talk at you at this late hour. On an occasional Saturday night, set your alarm and shuffle into the kitchen after midnight. your presence will surprise – but reassure- your teenager . and you might just be surprised with what he has to say.
● TEACHING YOUR TEENAGER TO MASTER HER FATE : When she asks for permission to extend her curfew “just this once”, give the problem back to her How will she assure you that she will be safe? What steps will she takes to keep you informed? This tells her the key to her independence is acting responsibly and sensitively to your needs and it forces her to consider her request from your perspective, if even just a moment.
● RIDING IN THE CAR WITH PUPOSE : Riding in the car side-by-side with your teenager allows her to free associate, to talk aimlessly and possibly even to open up to you. But all this depends on how you respond to her initial comments : If you panic and lecture she stop talking. If instead you grip the wheel and stay quiet, chances are good that she’ll share something noteworthy.
● DINNERTIME HAS NEW MEANING, AND IT’S GOOD NEWS, SORT OF : No longer the time of big conversation, dinner is now the time for small talk. It’s the time to simply make eye-contact, to crack a joke or two and laugh. It’s the time to plan the logistics for the next day. These breezy exchanges build the bridge for deeper communication away from the table with your teenager.
● And More ……
About the Author
Michael Riera, Ph.D., is one of the country’s foremost authorities on understanding children and teenagers. Mike has written or cowritten five books related to teenagers and their parents. Currently, he is the head of the Brentwood School, an independent K-12 day school in Los Angeles.
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