EVERYONE COMMUNICATES, FEW CONNECT : What The Most Effective People Do DifferentlyJohn C. Maxwell
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Revealing Maxwell’s 5 Principles & 5 Practices To Develop Crucial Skill of Real Connecting
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The most effective leaders know how to connect with people. It’s not about power or popularity, but about making the people around you feel heard, comfortable, and understood.
George Bernard Shaw said, “The greatest problem in communication is the illusion that it has been accomplished.” How true. One of the biggest reasons leaders fail is their inability to communicate. Most of the time, we unconsciously leave it to chance. Just because we say something, doesn’t mean we have communicated it.
As John Baldoni observed, “The ability to speak is not the same thing as the ability to communicate….The capacity to construct a message, address it to another, listen for feedback, process that feedback, and continue to communicate in ways that are understood is one of the hardest things a leader will have to do.”
But it can be done if we are willing to make the conscious choice to connect with others. That’s why, Only One Thing Stands Between You and Success. It Isn’t Experience. It Isn’t Talent.” World-renowned leadership expert John C. Maxwell says if you want to succeed, you must learn how to connect with people. Every one of us has an audience. Whether you lead a small group, run a local training, mentor others in one-on-one relationships, the book will teach you how to captivate, retain, inspire, and strengthen every relationship.
Connecting is basic to human relations. And while it may seem like some folks are just born with it, the fact is anyone can learn how to make every communication an opportunity for a powerful connection. The premise of this book is two-fold:
1) There’s a difference between communicating and connecting in a meaningful way; and
2) Anyone, regardless of his or her personality, “people skills,” or natural talents can learn to be a better communicator, whether in personal or professional relationship
He asks, “Have you ever heard of someone who is said to have a charmed life? Usually those are people who have learned how to connect. When you connect with others, you position yourself to make the most of your skills and talents.” How does connecting happen?
Not surprisingly, it all begins with your attitude. “The ability to connect with others begins with understanding the value of people.” As with leadership in general, connecting is about other people.
There are three questions people are always asking about you:
◆ “Do you care for me?”
◆ “Can you help me?” and
◆ “Can I trust you?”
Connecting begins when the other person feels valued. We need to have the attitude and approach of “What can I do to increase my value of others?”
John Maxwell, talks about how we either use people as stepping stones or bridges. How often have you been to a networking event where it’s obvious that the person you are talking with doesn’t give a shit about you? I’m sure you get just as annoyed by that as I do. People who connect and build bridges are the kinds of people that others gravitate towards. Business owners need all the gravitational help we can get.
There are four specific issues that John Maxwell raises in the book that should be familiar to you. These barriers are;
1. Assumptions- This is where you think you already know what people want or need.
2. Arrogance- I don’t need to know what people want.
3. Indifference- I don’t care to know what people need or want.
4. Control- I don’t want others to know what I need or want.
Everyone Communicates, Few Connect, helps you succeed by revealing Maxwell’s Five Principles and Five Practices to develop this crucial skill of connecting, including:
● Finding common ground,
● Keeping your communication simple,
● Capturing people’s interest,
● Inspiring people, and
● Staying authentic in all your relationships.
The ability to connect with others is a major determining factor in reaching your full potential. It’s no secret! Connecting is a skill you can learn and apply in your personal, professional, and family relationships Your ability to achieve results in any organization–be it a company, church, nonprofit, or even in your family–is directly tied to the leadership skills in your toolbox.
Connecting goes beyond words. According to a UCLA study what we say only accounts for 7% of what is believed by our audience. The way we say it accounts for 38% and what others see accounts for 55%. So you need to connect on four different levels:
☞ What people see : Connect visually. Are you dressed appropriately, are you what they expect?
☞ What people understand : connect intellectually. You need to be empathetic to their situation, understand their pain and be able to talk from that same place.
☞ What people feel : Connecting emotionally. People will feel your attitude, your energy … positive or negative. “The exact words you use are less important that the energy, intensity and conviction with which you use them”.
☞ What people hear : Connecting verbally. The words are important, as is the tome, inflection pace etc. you want your audience to really hear your message … whether an audience of one or a larger group.
Connecting is an easy-to-learn skill you can apply today in your personal, professional, and family relationships to start living your best life. Offers those who continually run into stumbling blocks when it comes to personal success five connecting principles and five connecting practices that the author believes are the keys to creating the change and results you seek.
Everyone Communicates, Few Connect is oriented towards leaders, which is to say, any of us that decide to make a choice to intentionally influence others. It’s a practical book about bridging the gap between you and the people you are trying to connect with.
Though the ideas he presents are not new nor should we expect them to be. While technology has changed some of our tools of communication, it has not changed the principles of connecting. Ironically, technology has not made it any easier or better. Today’s technology won’t communicate a selfless attitude any better than using smoke signals, if it is not the foundation of the communication in the first place. Forming connections with each other has not changed over time. We must always be reminded of the principles behind it.
Whether you are a business leader, owner, speaker or a manager. Learning to connect with the people around you at a deeper level will set you and your business apart from others. The more connected the people who buy from you or work for you feel. The more they will want to interact with your business. If you are someone who wants to be a better connector, this book is a must read.
About the Author
John C. Maxwell, the #1 New York Times bestselling author, coach, and speaker who has sold more than thirty million books, has been identified as the #1 leader in business by the American Management Association and the world’s most influential leadership expert by Business Insider and Inc. magazines.
Dr. Maxwell has also received the Mother Teresa Prize for Global Peace and Leadership from the Luminary Leadership Network. His organizations—the John Maxwell Company, the John Maxwell Team, EQUIP, and the John Maxwell Leadership Foundation—have trained millions of leaders from every nation in the world.
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